For anybody who doubts the value of a good solid education, here are a few school exam answers from the world-wide web.
Doubtless many of these students were from the slower-flowing parts of the stream, and their education leaves a certain something to be desired.
I particularly like the concept of oxygin, but the momentary hint of Victorian decorum when reviving a fainting lady is very quaint- or is that just my age?
So let's begin with the exam question answers...
When you breathe, you inspire. When you don't breathe, you expire.
The moon is a planet just like Earth, only deader.
Artificial insemination is what the farmer does to the cow instead of the bull.
Dew is formed on leaves when sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
Equator: A menagerie lion running around Earth through Africa.
Momentum. What you give a person when they are going away.
Nitrogen is not found in Ireland, because it is not found in a free state.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin & Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydogin is gin and water.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
Before giving a transfusion, find out if the blood is negative or affirmative.
For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
H20 is hot water. CO2 is cold water.
Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.
Respiration is composed of inspiration and then expectoration.
For a nosebleed: Put the nose lower than the body until the heart stops.
To ensure contraception use a condominium.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
The difference between hard and soft water is that hard water is ice.
Teflon is non-stick on one side, and sticks to frying pans on the other.
If you have any better (and more hilarious!) answers that we could add to this list, please don't hesitate to send them to me by email